


A Gift for a Vampire

by Silent_So_Long



Series: Vampires in Berlin (aka Ramm-pires in Berlin) [9]
Category: Rammstein
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Attempt at Humor, Birthday, Birthday Presents, Gen, Humor, M/M, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2015-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-06 07:52:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5408885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silent_So_Long/pseuds/Silent_So_Long
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story behind Till's birthday gift for Richard (companion piece to 'The Hungry Ghost')</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Gift for a Vampire

**Author's Note:**

> As it says in the summary, I wrote this is a companion piece to 'The Hungry Ghost.' I think you might need to read that first for this to make sense (or read this first, and then 'The Hungry Ghost'. I don't mind.) I didn't want to include these scenes in the main story for fear of spoiling the surprise of Till's gift! XD

[ ](http://s1368.photobucket.com/user/paulchen2/media/A%20guftbefunky_zps2dveqdvg.jpg.html)

"Alright, Till, I give up. What's up?" Flake asked, with a long-suffering sigh that sounded louder than it actually was in the otherwise silent room.

Till merely shrugged, one shoulder lifting and falling diffidently as he cast a quick glance in Flake's direction. Flake sighed and set aside the book he'd been reading, snapping the covers closed after first slotting his bookmark between the pages to keep his place. 

"Don't say 'nothing', either, Lindemann; I know you. It's obvious to a blind bat that you're worrying over something and I know very well that bats aren't actually blind, before you start," Flake said, which provoked a smile from Till, if nothing else. 

"It's Richard's birthday, next week," Till replied, with a sigh.

"Yeah. And? He has a birthday every year, last time I checked," Flake pointed out, slowly. "Same as we all do." 

"Yeah, but what the bloody hell do you buy a vampire for their birthday? I had a hard enough time picking out something when he was human. Talk about fussy," Till said, a deep laugh rumbling in his chest at the memory of a pouting Richard, whenever the guitarist received something he didn't like. 

"Good point," Flake conceded, with a graceful nod. 

"What have you got for Richard, anyway?" Till asked, as he frowned at the other man.

"Clothes," Flake said. "Same as I get him every year. Obviously not exactly the same, or the gift would be rendered pointless. I actually bought him a couple of t shirts and a new pair of trousers. I can't believe that you haven't bought him anything yet."

"Like I said Richard being a vampire's thrown me," Till admitted, wth a snort. "I cant exactly buy him shit with garlic in or crucifixes, or anything like that. And where the hell am I supposed to buy blood from, without looking like a serial killer or something?"

"I think you're being a little bit specific perhaps," Flake pointed out. "Just because he's a vampire now, doesn't mean to say he can't enjoy a book or a CD or clothing or something. Even vampires need entertaining; probably more so, because they live longer than us." 

"Bloody hell," Till groaned. "That makes it even more difficult. If this was Paul we were talking about, it'd be easier. I'd just buy him a book or something for his camera or some such shit. He's easier to please than Richard." 

"Why don't you buy him a coffin?" Flake suddenly suggested, with a snorted laugh. 

"A what?" Till asked, laughing despite his baffled surprise. 

"You heard. A coffin," Flake replied, as a slow grin worked its way across his face. "If you really want to buy something vampire specific, get him a coffin. He needs something vampiric to sleep in, deosn't he?" 

"I don't think he'd get the joke, Flake," Till said. "Although I must admit that I like the idea." 

"Get one for Paul as well, then. A matching set, then it doesn't seem so bad," Flake suggested. "It's not like you're wishing them dead or anything. That's what wooden stakes and Holy Water's for." 

"Okay, but if this goes tits up, I'm blaming you," Till warned. "Just so you know. And where the hell am I gonna get two matching coffins in a week, anyway?" 

"Leave that to me," Flake said, sagely. "I just know the perfect person who can get me a good deal on that sort of thing."

"You do? Who?" Till asked, in surprise.

"A mortician; he might know a good coffin-maker you can use," Flake said, with a slight smile. "I'm the Doktor, remember? I know people like that." 

"Jesus Christ, but you're one weird fucker, sometimes, Flake," Till said, as he shook his head.

"Maybe so, but my weirdness comes in handy at times, doesn't it?" Flake pointed out, as he plucked his book from the desk once more and opened the covers to the appropriate page. "Now, where was I, before I was rudely interrupted." 

Till watched him for a while, once again amused at his friend's weird yet wonderful ideas, yet Flake was as studious in ignoring him as the cat that the keyboardist kept as a pet.

****

True to his word, Flake spoke with the mortician he new, and within the week Till had a matching pair of coffins, ready made and heavily padded for a vampire's use. He managed to secure himself a bottle of coconut scented massage oil in the hopes of taking the sting out of his gift; he hoped that the vampires would see it as the peace offering that it was intended as.

Richard's birthday arrived and Till arranged for a courier to deliver the coffins, too worried at the last minute of perhaps getting a fist in the face from Richard, if the guitarist chose not to see the funny side of the gift. Till, at least, helped the courier to take the coffins up to the third floor, grunting and sweating despite the timely help of the lift, before he made his escape before either Richard or Paul could open the apartment door. 

The following day, Till rang their apartment, with the intent of purposefully keeping his tone light and casual; he wondered if perhaps he'd have the misguided fortune of perhaps getting Paul on the phone, yet it was Richard who actually answered.

"Happy Birthday for yesterday," Till said, casually. "I hope you had a good evening." 

"Yeah, Paul and I used your gift; came in quite handy, actually," Richard said, his tone light and unreadable over the phone.

Till could hear Paul's distinctive hysterical laughter in the background, which made him grin. At least one of the vampires had seen the funny side of his gift, he thought. 

"Yes? Comfortable, was it?" Till asked, realising only then that Richard hadn't exactly stated which gift he was actually referring to - the coffins or the masage oil. 

"Oh, yes," Richard said, and Till detected the first hint of amusement in the vampire's voice at that. "Now the whole apartment smells like coconut." 

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Till said, unable to hide his own amusement for long. "Richard, I know you got the bloody coffins. I'm sorry. Before you start blaming me, it was all Flake's idea." 

"Was it? Well, the coffins look wonderful in the main bedroom, you know," Richard said and Paul's laughter grew louder, and ever more hysterical in the background 

"You're kidding," Till said, uncertain as to whether Richard was pulling his leg or not.

He heard Paul shouting something in the background, before Richard's deep and typically rolling laugh exploded over the receiver.

"What did that fanged lover of yours say?" Till asked, suspiciously.

"He said that if you don't believe me, you should come round and have a look," Richard said. "Don't forget Paul can hear every word you say to me on the phone." 

"If only my ears worked just as good," Till mused. 

"Only one of the perks of being a vampire," Richard assured him, even as Till heard Paul's laughter again, distinctly closer now. 

"I'll bet," Till replied, a grin suddenly turning his tone warm. "Are you free tonight? I wanna see whether you're pulling my leg or not."

"Sure, come in an hour. We've gotta eat first," Paul shouted, before Richard could.

Although his voice was quiet, because of the distance between his lips and the phone, his words were still just about audible to Till.

"Did you hear that?" Richard checked.

"Yeah; I got that. I know I'm human but I'm not completely deaf yet," Till said, with a snort. 

"Okay, then; see you in an hour, Till," Richard agreed, a sentiment swiftly and loudly echoed with a shout from Paul. 

Till hung up after Richard had disconnected and shook his head with amusement at the vampires.

****

"I can't believe you really put this shit in the bedroom," Till said, as he stared down at the coffins laying side by side upon the bedroom floor.

"Well, that's what they're for, isn't it? You shouldn't have bought them for us if you hadn't intended for us to use them," Paul pointed out, with a laugh.

"I didn't expect you to actually put them in your bloody bedroom," Till pointed out. "Comfy, are they?"

"Well, I know I slept like the dead," Paul said, with a smug grin at the vocalist. "Quite literally." 

Till laughed at that, even as Richard trailed in carrying a mug of coffee, freshly brewed for TIll's benefit.

"Thanks, Reesh," Till said, as he took the steaming mug fom Richard. "Paul was just telling me that you slept like the dead." 

"In these things? How could we not?" Richard asked, with a laugh. "They probably won't stay in here for long, to be fair. I think they'll get relegated to the spare room, to scare any guests into not staying for long." 

"Not a bad idea, actually. Unless I'm one of the guests, then I am not sleeping in one of those things," Till said, darkly. "I'd rather sleep on the sofa, if you wouldn't mind." 

"We'll remember that," Paul assured him, with a laugh. 

"Good," Till nodded, before he took a sip of his coffee.

"Thank for the gift though, seriously," Richard said. "It's certainly different."

"Yeah, well, thank Flake for that," Till said, with a smile. "I'm terrible at buying presents anyway; I'll get you something better at Christmas, I guess." 

Richard and Paul laughed at that, but didn't say any more on the matter; instead, the conversation steered away from coffins and presents onto other matters entirely.


End file.
